day #1 "if you love me, keep my commandments"

Over the past 4 months, I have never felt farther from my Father in heaven. I have struggled with depression my whole life, and it has recently overpowered my entire life. I feel weak and want to become strong again. I want to start today to make it back to when I was confident and happy about the person I was. When I talked to my parents they stressed the importance of becoming a “whole person”. For this assignment, my goal is to start my journey back to being that whole person. This is by staying physically healthy, spiritually healthy, emotionally healthy, and looking outward and helping others instead of retreating into myself. 

My plan is as follows:

1. Spiritually: Make sure to read scriptures and pray daily.

2. Physically: Eat healthy & exercise often.

4. Spiritually: Read or listen to a conference talk a day

5. Looking Outward: Do at least one act of kindness daily

6. Emotionally: Record my feelings and what I am trying to do each day to become a happier and more whole individual in a blog.

Today was a good day to start. I have been feeling the heaviness of the world crashing around me lately, and needed this assignment to motivate me to start today. Ive hit my rock bottom, and the only way from here is up. I am obsessed with quotes, so motivation like this one really help me realize that I can do this. No matter how low I have felt the past couple of months, I am tough and I can handle whatever Satan throws me. 

The talk I listened to at work was "If you love me, keep my commandments" by Carole M. Stephens. I loved the message it taught about not just enduring, but finding joy in our journey home. This life is meant to be enjoyed. 

"Even with all of the mistakes, opposition, and learning that accompany our mortal experience, God never loses sight of our eternal potential, even when we do. We can trust Him “because God wants His children back.” And He has provided a way through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. The Atonement “is the core of the plan of salvation.”

I know that my family has been worried about me in my time of personal trial right now, but I am grateful to know that the Lord will always be there for me. 

Today I prayed intently for the first time in a while. It was hard, but as I got on my knees I could feel the love the Savior does have for me. I made little steps today to work on myself. I tried to have a more positive attitude at work today, ate a healthy lunch, did bootcamp with Christian, and tried to focus more on others than my own problems. Today I made a baby step forward and I already feel just a little bit more happy than I was yesterday. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and his constant companionship. I know that I am nowhere near perfect, but I am eternally grateful for the atonement. I am grateful that my mistakes can be made right by giving it all to the Lord. He sacrificed to heal the broken hearts and forgive us all for our shortcomings in this life.

Happy moment from the day: 

Library with this boy. He makes me want to be the best person I can be. Grateful for him in my life & also is my library buddy so its a win win. Love him lots.